#MeToo

By Isabella @TheWandCarver

Instagram:  @thewandcarver

As a business owner, I try very hard to stay dis-opinionated when it comes to politics – particularly another country’s – religion, and a plethora of things which could easily turn nasty.  It’s not that I don’t care, it’s just that I try to find more positive things to comment on.  But then, there is #MeToo…

Someone said recently in my general hearing “This #MeToo business is catching on like a sale at M&S… when one woman buys one and it’s half off, the rest of them want one and all.” CRINGE.

What you don’t know about me is, it takes all I have sometimes to hold my tongue.  I have a very sharp tongue and if I don’t think long and hard about what I’m going to say, I will make people cry. I get it from my grandfather.  He was a Scot and he  really didn’t care if he burned your earholes to a crisp. And, his filter was non-existent.  At least, I do have a filter and have learned to use it. Thanks to my grandmother.

I won’t tell you what flashed into my mind to say to this plank but suffice it to say it was deliciously rude and cruel.  And to my mind, it was no better than he deserved.  I would have enjoyed watching his ears go up in flames, if I’m honest.   Because…. #MeToo.

shutterstock_metoo_institure for policy studies

photo by Shutterstock 

I grew up in the 60’s and 70’s to my teen years and early twenties.  In those days, girls/women were accused of “asking for it” if anything terrible happened to them. If, for example, you walked into a police station and told a copper you had been raped, you would probably have been eyed up and down first.  Then maybe given a piece of paper and a pen to write down what happened.  If you were luckier still,  you might get taken into an interview room and asked many questions…the thing is, though, the questions were mostly seeming to dig you out, not to find out what kind of devil could possibly do such a thing.

“What were you wearing?”

“Had you been drinking at all?”

“Had you been taking drugs?”

“Do you live alone or with your family?”

“Is the lad someone you know, or did you just meet him?”

“Are you a prostitute?”

“Why were you walking alone at this time of night?”

I’m remembering this as best I can, there may have been more, but this is what my best friend got for her troubles when she reported the fella she had gone on a date with for the first time,  who decided to take what he wanted… “no” meant nothing to him, and she did tell him no…repeatedly.  And, the police did not even ask her if she said no.  It almost seemed a given that it did not matter if she did or not.  It was still very much a man’s world in those days, after all.

When she got home, things got no better.  Her Mum… her own MOTHER! told her that “dressed like that, it was no wonder the lad thought he could have his wicked way”.  Needless to say, no matter what I could do or say to help her, she began drinking heavily and somehow remained a functioning alcoholic for a good many years, holding down a good job as an estate agent but could never trust any man enough to have a meaningful, happy relationship with.

Then, in my case, I never told.  I couldn’t face anybody with what had happened to me.  Not to mention that I was only twelve years old at the time.  I was a tall girl and wore make-up from a young age.  Dressed smart and stylishly to boot.  I guess I always thought I “was asking for it” and all… I knew it was what my Mum and everyone else would say.  That’s why I have never told anyone until now. But #MeToo.  I kept mine to myself all these years.  And, I’m not going to tell now.  For one, chances are the man is dead by now and even if he isn’t, I don’t want the inevitable stupid questions…

“What were you wearing?”

“Had you been drinking at all?”

“Had you been taking drugs?”

“Do you live alone or with your family?”

“Is the lad someone you know, or did you just meet him?”

“Are you a prostitute?”

“Why were you walking alone at this time of night?”

But the worst one of all because it has been so long:

“Why didn’t you report him then?”

Or

“Why didn’t you tell your family?”

Why not indeed.  I think this has been fully explained above, that is why.  And so, on the day that in the United States the Senate is going to vote for whether Brett Kavanaugh will become a Supreme Court Justice despite the testimony of many but particularly that of Dr Christine Baisley Ford, which by the way, passed three markers on her polygraph test / lie detector test for 100% honesty, that he sexually assaulted her at that party in the 1980’s; he is being voted to become to Supreme Court Justice.  Where is the justice in that?

I have no closing speech.

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2 Responses to #MeToo

  1. Angela says:

    Blessings to you.xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

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